I’ve been going about this all wrong. COFFEE is the key to success!
- bath the dog that ate your fiance’s blueberry pie off her plate while standing idly in your parents kitchen-this happened to me
- hang out with zombies–for it could happen, folks!
- buy canned foods that have labels that list “unknown source”
- wear these ridiculous emoji clothes with little brown plops of poop on them–I have a student who wears this weekly
- make your much needed coffee in the break room during the Christmas party–someone will take it mistakenly thinking it was part of the goods